What can I say about Heartbreaks?
That thing that sometimes strikes you when you least expect it, other times when you’re predicting it somehow.
It doesn’t really matter when or how it strikes… it kills you anyway.
It pulls the ground off your feet and you’ll just free fall not knowing if there will be a soft landing. Well, I have news for you. It’s everything but a soft landing.
You crash. You break every little piece in you until nothing seems to be there anymore.
You can’t breathe deep anymore.
Your stomach is always aching.
It’s just emptiness and loneliness within.
You turn into tears for indefinite time.
You’re groundless and silent.
You are gone into a dark, empty place where you care about nothing but that person who is gone. You’re lost without them. Suddenly your routine changes.
You don’t know what to do.
You can’t stand the thought of being home alone.
You can’t stand the thought of being alone.
It’s a deep, dark hole. You don’t know how to climb out of it and you don’t want to climb out of it.
You just want to drown into self-pity and cry.
It’s the end of the world. The end of your world.
And that’s what matters to you.
No more “someone taking care of you and making you laugh”. No more “someone thinking of you”. No more sharing your love and cuddles, your thoughts, your inner intimate self. It’s just you. Again.
You can’t focus at work. You can’t eat. You can’t speak.
You question yourself: Why?!
Why did this happen? What did I do wrong?
Will someone ever love me again?
Will someone ever understand me again?
You rely on your friends to help you manage but there’s only so much they can do for you. They are there for you, not allowing you to be by yourself for a long time, listening to your heartbreak. Listening to your tears and mumbled words. Giving you hope. And that is already half of the pain taken from you.
You realize it needs to be your job to pick yourself up.
No one else can do it for you.
Slowly, you start reacting back to life. You’ll smile even if you don’t feel like it. You’ll drag yourself to do something.
And you miss the person you were before the world of tears.
So you start building yourself again. Picking up the scattered tiny pieces of you all over. And you understand that if you’re not strong enough, you’ll just be in that dark hole all the time.
And that’s not you.
Necessarily, each heartbreak changes you. It takes a piece of you which you never get back.
But you do come back to Life. A full life. Where you laugh again. Where you find yourself useful again. Beautiful again. Independent again. Some people go for endless rebound relationships, others find some peace in being with their friends and designing a new routine. One day at the time.
Make plans. Work on them.
Everything is still slippery, uncertain. And scary.
But there’s no way out. You’re still breathing.
Your heart is still beating.
You’re still moving, your body is working.
There’s Life in you. That’s your major gift.
But Human Nature is an unsettled one.
You always want more. You can’t find your Peace.
At least recognize that while you’re alive, you are not allowed to be dead inside.
Honor your gift. Honor the Life you were lucky enough to have been given.
Live. Be present.