Asides

So here we are.
Beautiful, confidant, independent women, over thirty (way over 30 in my case!) and still single. We make our own money, we take care of our own house, even our own car. We cook (if we want to), we work striving to grow a career… in a foreign country in the Middle East. You’ve done it all by yourself.
With no man by your side, no shoulder to cry on when it gets rough. No one to come home to. No one to cuddle you and warm your feet – you have the hot water bag for that! You’re strong as a bull but soft as a kitten. But no one really knows. Any of that.
And still single (I know I’ve said it before, just reinforcing the thought). You can’t meet anyone in this big, exotic, middle eastern place.
So… what could be better to meet people other than a dating app? Of course!! How could you not think of that before?! The male species are all represented in these dating apps. For sure, you’ll have plenty to choose from!!
Jokes aside now, shall we? What makes us, grown people, having our jobs, friends, family, turn to a dating app as way of meeting people?
What happened to the typical ways of meeting people? Why are these apps so successful?
Why do we need to turn to a ‘people catalogue’, browsing photos, deciding whether we ‘like’ them or not? It’s an online supermarket where you find people for every taste… and you don’t have to pay for it!! You find all sorts of guys, some more handsome than others. And you choose based on their beauty/physique.
If they like your looks too, lucky you, you’ll get a match. Uhuuuu!! And then?
Well, if you’re even luckier, he’ll start a conversation! Probably not an interesting one… ‘Hey, how are you?’, ‘Where are you from?’, ‘How long have you been living here?’, ‘What do you do?’ and most times, that’s it. Some ask for your Whatsapp number and continue chatting there.
You might just chat about the weather, but if you’re really lucky, you’ll find someone who actually is able to hold a decent conversation and raise your interest.
So, then you meet in person. Can be coffee, dinner, a drink…
And then, some guys just seem perfect. They seem the full package, as others you just know it’s not your thing.
Anything can happen from there on. Or absolutely nothing!
You might believe you’re in love just like that.
My question is WHY? Why do we search for love in someone you don’t know but suddenly, after one coffee, you already see him as the right guy because he’s completely your style… Or you can just be looking for… other affairs, which makes it all so much easier! It’s a clean shot. You just choose the one that suits you the most.
But most of us (from my experience, at least) are really looking for Love. And you get all happy thinking you’ll find love in one of these ‘volunteers’ to meet you. And then you crash. You might actually get burned. And then you cry. And then you start over. Yes… you do… You put yourself out there again and again. You expose yourself to these predators, getting crumbs, tiny pieces of love (in your mind only). Until eventually you become a predator yourself and lose track of who you really are. You lose track of the shiny bright person you are to become an obsessed ‘swiping’ predator.
How do we get to that point?
How do we go from beautiful, independent, confident women to a needy, naive being who believes that what that guy is telling you is true?
In the end I don’t even believe any of these guys to be intrinsically a bad person. You’re just in different moments of life, with different goals. And again… you’re the one putting yourself out there.
I have so much to say about this… I have heard so many different things, met so many different people and I’ve been through so much.… I question myself… I’ll tell you all my stories and adventures over time. You’ll have a laugh.. or a cry! Not sure which one!
See you soon!… and hold your questions… answers will come!